Footsteps on the veranda,
Hushed whispers,
Acacias lightly rustle
in the sticky night wind.
The door opens,
shuts,
opens,
shuts.
The mystery deepens
in the emptiness
of my bedroom.
A knot in my neck,
A lead ball in my stomach,
A sudden snapping
beneath my sternum
indicates the presence
of one,
simple word,
large enough
to be swallowing me whole:
Want.
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A bone pot is a sacred vessel in the Chinese tradition, and used to house the bones of the dead after seven years of earth burial. This blog is the holding place for poetry, thoughts on environmental issues, and discussions of all flavors. Join in.
A bone pot is a sacred vessel in the Chinese tradition, and used to house the bones of the dead after seven years of earth burial. This blog is the holding place for poetry, thoughts on environmental issues, and discussions of all flavors. Join in.
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About Me
- Inanna
- Northern California, United States
- Author, syndicated columnist, environmentalist, poet, bee charmer, chicken wrangler, biodiesel grease monkey.
5 comments:
Your poetry is lovely, and full of sad longing. I am always touched by your words.
This is gorgeous. I am there with your words. Thank you for sharing this transcendent moment.
delete comma after one -- creates a pause that halts the movement forward.
swallow vs swallowing -- simple present or past is always stronger than the gerund form of the verb.
food for thought -- however -- LOVE this. simple and yet profound, deep, suffused with longing. Go, girl.
I, actually like that comma,
-contrarian Cecil
(seems like an interesting, intentional stop to me -- catches you as you fall, makes you wait for it...wait for it...)
I think you do really well with the sense of leading towards something. Until the final words, I was not sure of the direction--and that's a good thing, as I dislike it when there is a "false surprise" to something (i.e., you know where it's going as soon as it begins, but the intent is to create suspense.)
As a fiction writer, though, I'll stay out of the comma debate. ;o)
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